I wrote the first part of this while I was pregnant and never finished it, but I want to share it today, because I still catch myself wishing away the present for whatever may or may not lie ahead.
When I was single, I wanted to be dating; when I was dating, I wanted to be engaged; when I was engaged, I wanted to be married. Once I got married, next I wanted a dog, then a baby. Now that I’m pregnant, I cannot wait for our little girl to be here. If you’re anything like me, you’re always looking forward to the next step of whatever season of life you’re in.
But why rush it? We should make the most of where we are now, because we’ll never get these moments back. It’s as if we’re in such a hurry to wish away the past, and sometimes even the present, for a future we cannot guarantee. Something I constantly have to remind myself is this: plans will change and things will go wrong. I will get lost on the path I had for my own success, but you know what? It’s okay. God’s timing is perfect, and he’s the one ultimately in control.
Whenever someone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always, “to be a mom,” and now here I am: eight weeks away. One day the questions of anxiety started rolling in my mind: “What if I can’t do this? What if I’m not good enough?” They’re the same questions I’d felt prior to getting married or graduating college.
A little human is going to be relying on me to live, helplessly trusting in me. I was hit with a wave of mild panic, and even more questions: What if I mess up? What if I don’t have enough patience or energy? What if I’m a bad mom?
When I get these anxious questions and feelings, I do my best to turn to the Lord and ask for help or guidance, and he ALWAYS provides, whether I see it in the moment or not. A few weeks after Dolly Jean was born, I was looking through my notes and found this:
In the book Love Does, Bob Goff writes “but I know this: when Jesus invited us on an adventure, he shapes who we become with what happens along the way.”
And then the next day I read the following verse out of Esther:
“You were made for such a time as this.” – v. 4:14
This is MY life that God created specifically for ME. “This” doesn’t mean having everything figured out, it just means showing up and being myself. I was made to be present; right here and now. I was made for THIS moment. It sounds crazy, but God’s had this planned my entire life – heck, before I was even born, and he will mold me into the best mom I can be for my child.
In every season of life, there is a reason – to bless us or make us stronger through trials, and God knows what is needed and what is to come. So whatever you’re going through today, or what you’ll go through tomorrow, whether a huge blessing or unshakeable struggle, know that this moment was made for you, and you were made for this. So show up and celebrate the life that was created for you.
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December 12, 2019 at 2:49 pm
I think Hope is the thing that propels us to look forward and I love that you’re full of it! You’re right though in ensuring that in the midst of our hope, we pause and really be present with what we have, it’s such a blessing and a gift. I love the journey the Lord is taking you on, it is your journey, made specifically for you and it’s beautiful to be able to share a part of it through your blog. Bless you my friend, I look forward to watching more of your journey unfold xx
December 14, 2019 at 7:13 pm
Thank you so much for your kind words, Chrissie!
December 13, 2019 at 5:41 pm
Thank you for sharing this Sydney! I needed to hear it too!
January 13, 2020 at 10:41 pm
What a sweet season you are in right now. I love your quote about how Jesus shapes us in the midst of the adventure. I have found that to be very true. Blessings to you!
January 15, 2020 at 7:07 pm
Thanks so much for reading, Megan!
January 14, 2020 at 7:40 pm
God has called each of us for a special time according to His purpose. That in itself is great to know that our existence was intentional by the Creator.
February 4, 2020 at 7:49 am
Oh, this is just what I needed to read this morning! Life with three little ones can be a bit challenging at times, but I want to be fully present, engaged, and thankful in the midst. Thank you for this today, Sydney!
February 6, 2020 at 6:28 am
I’m so glad it was encouraging to you! Taking care of three little ones is such a huge accomplishment in itself. Way to go, mama!
February 4, 2020 at 8:26 am
This is a beautiful post reminding us to be grateful for today and also trust that God is able to see us through every season.
February 4, 2020 at 8:50 am
Yes! Studies show that if we have the idea of “destination happiness,” we will never get there, because we just keep moving the bar. We’ve been taught that happiness comes from our circumstances, but we know, biblically, that is the great lie. In hindsight, I can even see times of difficulty the Lord took me through when I spent all my time wishing for it to be over, but now can see the purpose for. I wish I had embraced even those difficult seasons, and I am trying to learn how to do so now. Congrats on being a mom; you’ll do great!
February 6, 2020 at 10:03 am
Thank you for your sweet words! That’s such a great point. I struggle with embracing difficult moments as well, but the outcome is always worth it.
February 4, 2020 at 7:07 pm
This is often my story, and what I’m currently working through! I spent most of my pre-marraige life wishing for the next step, now I’m here and with a little one, I’m trying my hardest to enjoy the moments, and sometimes find myself wishing I had enjoyed more of my past moments!
February 6, 2020 at 6:59 pm
It’s great that you’ve been able to recognize and apply it towards present and future moments, though! Thanks so much for reading.
February 5, 2020 at 1:38 am
Yes! I keep being reminded that God placed me where I am – in this place, this season – for a reason. If all my thoughts are already in the future I miss so much of the things he wants to show me NOW.
Thanks for this wonderful reminder!
February 6, 2020 at 7:00 pm
Thank you for reading, Britta!