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Before I jump in, I just want to say I’m not an expert on this, nor am I the best at this; these tips are just what I’ve learned in three short years. I’ll be honest, I’ve put our marriage on the back burner more times than I can count since our daughter was born. I’ve talked to other wives who feel the same way, and figured this would be a sweet reminder to myself and anyone else who feels they could be putting more effort into their marriage. So whether you’re a newlywed or seasoned* (fun word) spouse, I feel like you could gain something from this.

Be the woman your husband can’t wait to come home to.

Whether he is coming home from work, errands, a meeting or class, whatever it may be, your husband wants to come home to a loving wife. Try to put your day behind you for the first few minutes and joyfully greet him at the door.

Be intentional about loving him well.

Figure out how your husband feels loved  — take the five love languages test if you haven’t yet. It’s eye-opening and interesting to learn about how someone else works. I find that when I put extra effort in loving Mason in ways I know he feels loved, it’s naturally reciprocated and our marriage flourishes.

Aim to forgive first.

Almost turn it into a competition. Striving to be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11) with sincere apologies or forgiveness can help resolve conflicts quicker and makes you realize your deeper need and appreciation of Jesus.

Respect and encourage him.

You’re a built-in support system. Tell him how much you appreciate him and how good of a job he’s doing at X, Y or Z. Doesn’t everyone like to be told that? Truly listen, support and encourage him through both your words and actions.

Pray with and for each other.

God created marriage to be a reflection of his love for us, and who better to learn from than the Creator, himself? I always find that when we share our hearts with each other through prayer, our marriage grows stronger and we’re able to be more patient, kind and loving to one another.

Date your spouse.

Remember where it all started. Take interest in what interests him, and say I love you often (and mean it). We’re all human and constantly changing, so the “newness” of getting to know your girlfriend/boyfriend while you’re dating can still apply to marriage. 

DATE NIGHT IDEAS

Date nights don’t always have to be expensive, don’t always require a babysitter, and don’t always have to be out of the house. Many of these can be done at home with little to no money spent, after your kids are put to bed. Those tend to be my favorite dates, if you ask me!

Last week, I asked for y’all’s help on Instagram to come up with the best date ideas, and I narrowed it down to these ten:

AT HOME:

• Have a game night with board games, puzzles or cards and the smell of cookies baking in the oven.
• Kick your “netflix & chill” night up a notch with wine and a cheese board.
• Roast s’mores by the fire (or oven) and two-step the night away.
• Build a fort and sleep in it. Seriously. Spend the night dreaming about your future, vacations or bucket list items. (We just got these 88 Conversation Starters cards and love them for nights like these!)
• Have a movie night with the best three-course meal: popcorn, pizza and ice cream.

OUT & ABOUT:

• Find a hole-in-the-wall restaurant and order the strangest thing on the menu.
• Enjoy the outdoors while fishing, hiking or picnicking at the park.
• Visit your local animal shelter and try not to bring all the puppies home.
• Go for a drive. Take a road trip to a nearby town or go house hunting in local, fancy schmancy neighborhoods.
• Bring out your competitive spirit with bowling, putt-putt, arcade games, darts or pool.

What’s your go-to date night? Do you like to get creative at home or have a night out of the house?

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