6 Things I Learned My First 6 Months of Marriage | Meekly Loving by Sydney Meek

6 Things I Learned My First 6 Months of Marriage

6 Things I Learned My First 6 Months of Marriage | Meekly Loving by Sydney Meek

I’m a little behind on this post because our 6 month mark was in February, but let’s just go with it.

Now that I’ve been married for six months I’m pretty much an expert on marriage… just kidding. But I have learned a whole lot and I’m here to share that with you!

{ 1 } WE ARE BOTH SINNERS. We both need forgiveness and patience (and a whole lot of Jesus!) – even when we don’t think we deserve it. Sharing your life with someone definitely brings out imperfections, but we accepted and committed to each other six months ago, flaws and all. It doesn’t matter which one of us is in the wrong in any situation; we both usually end up apologizing and asking the other for forgiveness.

{ 2 } MY ACTIONS AFFECT HIM. Every single thing I do, say, or decide affects somebody else’s life now and it’s FREAKY. Marriage really makes you take a step back to zoom out of the picture you’ve always viewed as your life. Our first argument was over the fact that I got my hair cut and simply forgot to tell him (I know, I know, shame on me). That’s when we decided that maybe it’s better if we just tell each other everything – but trust me, we still fail at communicating sometimes. Which brings me to my next point…

{ 3 } COMMUNICATION IS KEY. Talk about everything. Listen to his side of any story or situation, and try your best to understand where he’s coming from. I learned that my husband actually wants to know what I’m thinking or how I’m feeling, and that it won’t be a burden on him for me to express that. We’re currently reading a book called Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs, and it discusses how women have pink glasses and hearing aids, and men have blue – meaning we are able to see or hear the exact same thing but interpret it in a completely different way, which is absolutely and completely 100% true. (I wrote more about this in my “Pink vs. Blue” post.)

{ 4 } HE WANTS RESPECT. The whole point of Eggerichs’ book is that a woman’s highest need is love and a man’s highest need is respect – almost to the same extreme as our need for air to breathe. All a man wants is to be seen as a hero in the eyes of his bride, and that can’t be done if he needs to “earn” it every single time. How is a man supposed to gain respect from his peers, coworkers, or friends if his wife doesn’t show it to him first? Respect can go a long way.

{ 5 } LOVE IS A CHOICE. Marriage will not always be pleasant, and there will be times for serious discussion or disagreements (if this is a huge shock to you, I don’t recommend that you get married any time soon). I’m sure y’all have all heard that “feelings may fade,” which can be true, but it takes work (and prayer) on both ends of the relationship to keep the love alive. The day my husband and I got married, we made a commitment to each other and to our Lord – that we will choose to love, accept, and see the good in one another. Something that encourages me when we get into arguments is to remember (or even write down) the reasons why I married him, or fell in love with him in the first place. And lastly…

{ 6 } CATCH THE LITTLE FOXES. Song of Solomon 2:15 says to “catch the little foxes that spoil the vineyard.” These represent small problems that won’t go away if left alone, but will build up and cause further pointless arguments – trust me, women are extremely talented in this area. I recognized this real quick, and as a couple we need to protect our love from anything that could harm it – which includes catching the little foxes.

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  1. […] and I read about this in the book Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs (which I also mentioned in this post). The author emphasizes that men have blue glasses and blue hearing aids, and women have pink – […]

  2. Congratulations! Marriage is a great ride, isn’t it? 😉 The “love and respect” book is a valuable read! It’s been a few years since we read that one – thanks for the reminder to pull it out.

    1. Oh absolutely! I definitely plan on reading the book through again, because I’m sure it will be applicable any time.

  3. livingandlearningwithchrist

    I just love your post. Such a great idea with the “catching the foxes” I am sure it will come to my mind the next time we have a small problem in our marriage.

  4. […] months ago I wrote a blog post about the things I had learned in those first few months of marriage, and while I am still learning and working on those things, […]

  5. Very true at 6 months of marriage and at 60 years of marriage. Very inspirational

    1. Thank you, Yvonne! This makes me so happy to hear! These are all things that I continue to work on daily. Thanks for reading!

  6. Great advice for newlyweds or soon to be’s. And I LOVE the dress!

    1. Thank you so much! These are all things that would have been nice to know before I had gotten married 😉 although I wouldn’t change a thing!

  7. The first thing I’m obliged to do is to commend you for catching these often ignored important aspects within your first six months in marriage. I must say you were indeed on your marriage journey with Jesus from the onset. It took me a much longer time and I suffered a lot from number 6. But I thank God I overcame. Thank you for sharing your experience; someone somewhere is still in the same situation. Hoping as I share, your post will make a difference in someones marriage.

    1. Thank you so much, Judith! Praise God you’ve recognized these “foxes”! While we still have our struggles, as any couple would, Jesus has definitely made himself relevant. Thanks for reading! 🙂

  8. Love the photo and your words of wisdom. My husband and I have been married for over 39 years and grow more in love everyday. We have endured hardships, cancer, losing parents, financial struggles, moving to other states and more. We learn lessons everyday. We are thankful for God’s presence in our marriage. Along with struggles, we have been blessed with many joys. Our son, daughter-in-love, first grand baby, wonderful family, friends and so much more. God gives us the ability to laugh at ourselves, too. 🙂

    1. This makes me so happy! Your marriage is truly inspirational. Every one of these is a lesson I re-learn every day, on top of new lessons that come with new experiences. Thanks so much for reading!

  9. This is such a great post! I am a newly wed as well! And I love how honest you are about the reality of marriage! It does take work, but it’s worth the effort!

    1. Congrats!!! Being a newlywed is so much fun! You’re absolutely right – the hard work is 100% worth it. Thanks for reading! 🙂

  10. This is so cute Sydney. Marriage is definitely a journey. These are good rules of thumbs for marriage any amount of time. We have to revisit all the time to remind ourselves when we get off track. May your marriage continue to be blessed.

    1. Thank you so much! I find myself getting off track every day, so those days brings new lessons to learn. Thanks for reading!

  11. Ahhh…. this must be the month for marriage posts! I guess the month of June traditionally has been a big month for weddings, so your blog is timely. I’ve been married for 26 years now, and the one thing I always tell everyone is that Jesus must always remain the “love of your life.” Your husband will fail you, you will find times when you feel alone in marriage, and you will be tempted to criticize (we all suffer from that one). But as we take those disappointments to God, and know that marriage is not supposed to be this “perfect thing,” the Lord can use it like nothing else to refine us, define us and grow us in Christ-likeness. Congrats on your new marriage and may the Lord continue to give you wisdom as the years go by.

    1. You’re absolutely right! I always heard something similar – you must fall in love with Jesus before you fall in love with your spouse. Thank you for this encouragement and for reading my post! 🙂

  12. This is a great post! As a Life Coach for marriages, I am doubly glad to see you two learning these points at the beginning of your marriage. So excited for you! My husband and I love and teach the Love and Respect curriculum to couples. It’s a great resource! 🙂

    1. Thank you! 🙂 The tips from Love & Respect come in handy every now and then!

  13. Thanks for sharing these tips, Sydney. They are timely and very helpful. Blessings to you.

    1. Thanks for reading, Boma!

  14. I love that last point! We can’t forget to nip small things in the bud before they grow into big problems! Congrats on almost two years!

    1. Thanks so much, Emily! 🙂

  15. These are great lessons. And great building blocks for a solid marriage. Congratulations!

    1. Thank you so much, Heather! 🙂

  16. Sydney, I’m so glad you shared this list! Had my husband and I known and been mindful of these things, I am sure our first year of marriage would not have been one of our worst. I’m going to share this because newlyweds need this valuable information! Congrats, by the way!

    1. Thanks so much for sharing! I think everyone’s first year comes with difficulties, just with all the new (literal) life changes, but I feel the same way! Had we known these, maybe we would have been more mindful of little spats. Thanks for reading, Sabrina! 🙂

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