It’s a little weird to be a pioneer.
Pioneer: a person who is among the first to explore or settle a new country or area.
If you’re getting married at a young age, chances are you’re in the minority. Pioneers have always been in a weird limbo, and being the first to do something no one else has entered is a little scary. With being married so young, you’ll find yourself having married friends that are years ahead of you, and single friends — probably in college — not even thinking about marriage yet. Your 20s are awkward already, but place a wedding ring on your finger, and you’re in a whole new season of life that isn’t very relatable. There’s a loneliness to it, but also a fresh taste of beauty. There is an innocence of being so young and committing your life to another soul.
Four years later, and I still can’t believe I get the blessing of growing up with my best friend. We get to maneuver things like college, budgets, long-distance moves, careers, big life decisions, groceries, and raising our kids together. I praise The Lord that he knew my soul and saw me fit to fall in love in college.
But when did getting married young become such a bad thing?
“You don’t know who you are yet.”
“You won’t finish school.”
“You’re not financially stable.”
“You need to date more people first.”
“You don’t know what love is.”
“You might change your mind.”
“You’re signing up for divorce.”
“You’re throwing your life away.”
“You’re too young.”
People are always going to be crazy opinionated about marriage, but here’s the deal: they are going to have an opinion either way. I think it’s because marriage is the most sanctifying, love-representing image we have in this world. We love marriage, we fight against it, we grow in it, and we learn so much through it. We will all have different stories and ideas of what it should look like.
I believe the decision to get married is strictly between you, your (future) spouse, and the Lord. Your marriage is your safe spot, the place where you see Christ most evident, and your home until eternity is reached. This is not a decision meant to be made or swayed by others around you. It is a choice that the Lord gave to be yours and His. Never give people the power to influence it, for it’s not their marriage to live in.
Don’t get me wrong, we didn’t (and still don’t) have it all figured out. Marriage is a huge commitment, and something you will have to work at for the rest of your life. Some days will be hard and our faith will be tested, but guess what? When I’m 80, I’ll be able to tell my kids I’ve been married to their dad for 60 years! I literally get to grow old with him.
It’s fun to see the crazy looks we get when people realize how young we are. I’m overwhelmed that we get the blessing of pointing to Christ even as young, weak vessels of the Most High. Marriage is not the end of your freedom, and actually, there is nothing in my life that I lost in getting married. I’ve gained so much more — I’ll get to do everything I want in life, Lord willing, and marriage won’t stop me from that.
This is just the beginning of our adventure.
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